Nothing is scarier than when the question comes up, “Honey, can we talk about the budget?” The world slows to a stop. Your hairs begin to stand to attention on the back of your neck. You slowly move your head around in acknowledgment while building an invisible wall of bricks that never works, yet it must be done with absolute accuracy in hopes that it will work this one time. So much is being built-up, but nothing is being said. The few seconds of silence seems like milliseconds…too quick…just keep the stare a few seconds longer. Hang in there! Starts clicking invisible red shoes, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home!” Where are you Toto!?!
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. —Will Ferrell
Why is it that when we need (I say need because no one in their right minds WANTS to talk about finances with their significant other) to talk about the budget, all hell breaks loose! It’s like this one inquiry has the incredible ability to break open not just one Pandora’s Box, but TWO! You’ve got one and so does your significant other. EVERYTHING COMES OUT. The sock you didn’t put into the hamper is somehow tied to the electric bill. The one-ounce of orange juice left in the fridge is tied to your Christmas budget. The load of laundry left in the dryer for multiple days has a direct link to your car payment. Even when you have the same goals and dreams, something happens that makes everyone SNAP!
Finances are personal! One likes to save, the other likes to spend. One likes to give to charity, the other sees retirement going out the door because of it. Each person views money differently and that is OKAY! Breathe!! It is! Just think: if both of you are the same, what kind of life would that be? If you both liked to save, you two may never let loose and have fun. If you both liked to have fun, you two are gonna have it rough in retirement. The point is to be open about your values, be open about your non-negotiables, be open about your income, and be open about your dreams. Most couples want the same end goal, they just have a hard time traveling the same path to get there.
So, create a new one! Make it a goal to sit down together and do three things: each person re-states their goals and dreams, look over your money plan together to see if it still aligns with what you BOTH want, and grab a few glasses of your favorite drink and laugh. REMEMBER!!! This is a time to dream and plan. Stay in your circle and know that the only person you can change is YOU. So, make marriage 100/100 and give it your best! CHEERS to you and your significant other. You can do this!
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