I’m bringing in my FAITH on this one because I’ve heard a lot of heartache around the topic of finances and tithing. I get questions and statements like:
What do I do when my spouse is dead set against tithing?
How am I supposed to tithe when my budget barely covers my monthly expenses?
I know I should tithe, but I can’t get myself to do it.
Why should I tithe? It just goes to some guy on stage with holes in his pants telling me to raise my hands in the air and sing like no one cares.
Is God disappointed in me if I don’t?
Right now you’re probably thinking of your own questions or statements surrounding it. For myself, tithing is one of my non-negotiables. There is not a budget in this world for me that does not include tithing. My husband, on the other hand, was like, “Wait…what? You want to give how much? WHY???” He was not happy and we’ve had our share of fights about it. Some were mild and some were full of anger and tears. That kind of fighting is not good for any marriage…no matter the topic. So what did we do?
1) Understand what God is asking of us.
Is God sitting up there staring down on me going, “Kara! If you don’t give that 10%, I’m going to withhold [insert Kara’s desire here]!” No, he’s not. What does he want from us? He wants us to give our gifts generously AND cheerfully!
Have you ever received a present from someone who was just SO EXCITED to give it to you? Doesn’t that just amp-up all the positive emotions around it? YES! Now, what if that person was giving just a basic birthday gift to you because he/she felt pressured to do it. Wouldn’t you feel awkward and kind of bad? Probably! God wants the same thing as we do. He wants a cheerful and generous giver because he can do amazing things through people who have a heart to give.
2) Understand the difference between the Old and New Testament definitions of tithing.
When it comes to the Old Testament, God gave the Israelites a TON of laws to follow in order to live a prosperous life. Some of those required tithing to the church and tithing / offerings for personal reasons. In Leviticus 27:30-33, it talks about tithing of your wealth to support the Levites (priests), since they had no income and were called to a life of service. In Deuteronomy 14:28-29, it talks about giving to the Levites AND providing for those in need within the community, whether they were considered poor, orphaned, or widowed. They were called to take care of each other.
Fast forward to the New Testament and Jesus offers a new view of tithing. In Matthew 23:23, Jesus challenges us (in this verse it was the Pharisees) to up our game and not give simply because “we’re supposed to” but to give generously to the needs around us. Gifts given from the heart (as we saw in the FIRST section) are much more effective in spreading positive news.
3) Understand the giving of your gifts.
In all honesty, do I think God is up there looking down on us and keeping track of who’s giving their 10%? No. I don’t think he’s concerned about 10% at all. I think he’s more concerned about where your heart is. We, as Christ-followers, are challenged to live and give generously…PERIOD. And what does “generously” mean? I think it’s different for everyone.
Some feel called to give 10%. So be it! Do it cheerfully!
Some feel called to give 90% and live off 10%. So be it! Do it cheerfully!
Some feel called to live a life of service and their time is their tithe. So be it! Do it cheerfully!
Some feel like that can’t give a lot, so they start with 1%. So be it! Do it cheerfully!
The point is, God calls us to be generous, so listen to his direction on how he wants you to do that.
4) Do not force your spouse to tithe.
This is not permission to go, “Hey, looks like we don’t have to tithe after all. More money for us!” Jesus gave us freedom from the laws of the Old Testament, not freedom to hoard all our gifts and be selfish. The freedom he gave us is the opportunity to go above and beyond the law and give what we feel called in our hearts to give…the BEST kind of giving.
Can you imagine what this world would be like if we all gave generously…whether that’s money, time, or talents!? A lot of us, to put it bluntly, might give to the church expecting those few staff members and missionaries to go out and change the world for us. But, WE are all called to be his hands and feet to the world. Some change the world working for a church. Some change it by going to another country. And some change it by simply giving their time and effort to their community. We all have our calling to give!
5) Keep the discussion going and be honest about what you feel called to tithe.
If you feel called to give, but your spouse is against it, talk about how much he/she is okay with you giving. If you wish you could give more, approach the conversation again after a little while.
When you feel called to give, but your budget is already tight, start with 1% and work up from there. Supplement that with volunteering! Your time and talents are just as valuable as money.
God wants your tithe and the church needs it. That tithe is between you and God and if you feel troubled by it or convicted, go to him in prayer and start by tithing your time and talents. Allow God to do what he does best and that’s changing people’s hearts.
Be generous in every aspect of your life and watch how God will multiply it. Don’t hoard your money, don’t hoard your time, don’t hoard your gifts, and don’t pressure anyone to give as you do. Giving is personal. Let your actions speak louder than your words. Cheers!
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